I dreaded driving in my early years.
I had hoped that once I passed the driving test I would feel much better about driving. I didn’t know what to do about this unhappy state I was in, other than to keep on driving and hoping it would go away. It didn’t.
I felt very alone, there was no one I felt I could talk to, and I didn’t see anybody else have problems in driving, so I started to feel ashamed and hid my fears from others. It wasn’t until I made the connection with a serious car crash when I was 8 years old that I remembered a promise I had made to myself to never learn to drive so I would not hurt others.
It was a promise of a child to make sense of what I could not understand then. In my mind it would keep me safe and I would never get hurt again. This insight was the beginning of my healing. I understood that I was not 8 anymore and I could trust myself to take appropriate actions. I knew I would not speed or take any other unnecessary risks while driving.
But changing a mindset takes more than just an insight. Feelings need to come to the surface and need to be dealt with – it takes a lot of strength and commitment. Looking back now, I wish I had had a therapist to guide me but 40 years ago there was no help for fearful drivers. This life-long quest to find some relief for myself eventually led me to become a driving instructor and help others in similar situations .
No one’s driving anxiety is exactly the same as mine or anybody else’s. But we all have one common denominator, self doubt, loss of trust and often shame. Many have hidden their fears for years. My students have been my greatest teachers over the past 15 years . They had the courage to tell me their stories and even more courage to challenge their old and unwanted fears.
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